Sunday, February 6, 2011

Frozen Feet


Psalm 42:5 - Why are you cast down, Oh my soul and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

It’s the beginning of a new year, and I wanted to write something brilliant and profound about entering 2011, but I just wasn’t feeling anything from within. Suddenly, I was receiving various materials on fasting, so I decided to start my year off fasting and praying. The first day of my fast, I read the scripture above in my devotional time. I, actually read the entire chapter and then I read it again out loud. It was so amazing. I felt the words piercing my heart and soul, and I just wept. It was as if the words that David wrote, were my own cry out to the Lord. See, I have been in that same place. My soul has been down cast and hurting. I haven’t felt inspired to write about anything, especially about faith. You’ll notice my last blog entry was posted on May 10, 2010.

Funny isn’t it, my blog title is Feet of Faith, but lately my feet have been stuck in one place or rather frozen. There’s the saying “cold feet” but mine are more like ice-cubes. Honestly, these past few months have caused me much grief, heartache and disappointment, which in turn has made me question and doubt many things concerning my faith. I know the scripture says we only need faith the size of a mustered seed to move mountains. (Matt. 17:20 Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”) If that is the case, then it would seem most of us probably don’t even have a pinch of a mustered seed. I don’t think most of us can honestly say we are moving mountains, and if you are, please share your secret! I always thought of myself as someone having a good amount of faith, but not so much lately. When I see loved one’s prayers not being answered, change not happening, actually some things getting worse and see them still hurting and suffering, it’s hard not to wonder what faith is all about and where is God in all of it? I know that God’s timing is not our timing, that we may not see change on the outside but God is working on the inside. I know all the clichéd answers, and yes those are all true, but I don’t think that is always the case. God is the creator of all things. He defeated Satan at the cross. God can choose to intervene at anytime, but why so often does it seem that the enemy has the upper hand? If I’m a child of God, I can ask anything in his name, according to his will, and it shall be done. The righteous shall not be forsaken or go begging for bread. If I ask for bread, He will not give me a stone. I can go on with these scriptures and I know them all to be true, but I know some whose lives completely contradict all of this, and they are no worse than you and I. In fact, I know them to have hearts more like Christ, than most. So then why are they not favored and being blessed?

What I’ve been seeing and experiencing first hand, has truly discouraged and confused me. Please let me first be clear, and don’t get me wrong, no matter what happens or doesn’t happen in this life, I will always put my hope and trust in the Lord. I certainly, would not put it in mankind. People will always let you down. Look back at history and look around at the world today, mankind has and will continue to destroy itself. The scripture says that the love of man will grow cold. (Matt. 24:12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold – Jer. 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?) I see it more and more everyday, and unfortunately, I see it a lot in the church (people), but that’s a topic for another blog. I will always love Jesus. Nothing will separate me from his love. There is a certain peace that only comes from having a relationship with Jesus Christ. That will never change for me. Words cannot describe it, but one must experience it to know what I mean. At the end of the day, that is really all that matters, knowing Him and how much He loves us. The extremely high price Jesus paid for my iniquities, for a wretch like me.

I know that “faith” is hope in things unseen (Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.) and faith without works is dead. Meaning, that we need to continue to pray, step out and do our part in the physical sense, and then let God do the rest. But, what exactly does that mean? I’ve always believed it to mean that God does his supernatural work. He opens the right doors, brings the right people into your life, that thing that you are believing for just happens with ease because His hand is guiding it along. When that thing you are hoping for is in His will, God will bless it. You have his favor. I’ve personally experienced that in my life. I can only speak of what the Lord has done in my life and those supernatural things that only He could have done. But, when I look at the lives of certain people in my life, they seem to defy all of that. Unfortunately, we can’t have faith for someone else. I often wish that my faith could help another, or even just add a little extra faith on top of theirs, but it doesn’t work that way. Faith is an individual practice. God gives each of us the same measure of faith, but it’s up to us individually, to exercise it and put it into action. I don’t think we can really ask God for more faith, but we can ask Him to help us and forgive us in our unbelief.

There is only one person I know who loves the Lord with all of their heart and soul, more than anyone I’ve ever met. Who can’t wait to sit at the feet of Jesus. Who is so faithful and desires the Lord more than anything else in this world and has been so self sacrificing and such a light and inspiration to so many others, but in the physical sense, I don’t always see favor, blessings, prayers being answered, or living that abundant life that run-eth over. It is truly discouraging to me and I can’t help but to question what God is doing? Yes, I know, who do I think I am to question God the creator of all things, right? It always brings me back to Job. I love when God speaks back to Job and puts him in his place. (Job 38 Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm. He said: “Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand…) If you ever start to think too highly of yourself, just read all of Job 38, it will set you straight! We will never know all things, and that’s why God is God and we are not! But, it’s because I know how awesome and mighty God is, and know that He can do all things, that cause me to ask why not this one thing? (Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.)

I know it is not good to compare our lives to others, but in this world you can’t help but notice some people are more blessed than others? They seem to have been anointed with some magical pixy dust, or as my one friend describes, they have been sprinkled with rainbows. Everything just falls into place for them, such favor. They live this charmed life. And it’s not because they live a more godly life than others. Trust me, I know many who have abundance in the material world, and yet I don’t see much of Christ in them when it comes to having compassion for others. Yet, somehow they are well taken care of in this worldly life. I think of the scripture that says, where your treasures are there your heart lies. (Matt 6:21 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.) Maybe since they are placing so much desire and importance in the material things of this world, that’s where their heart truly lies, and their rewards are here on earth. Maybe, they won’t have great rewards in heaven because they wanted it all here on earth. I don’t really know that to be true, but that’s just one of my own speculations. I do believe we have the whole blessings and favor thing wrong. I don’t think it has anything to do with materialism, but all to do with spiritual things (another topic for another blog). But, I do know what the scripture says about true religion and what truly matters: (James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. – Also Isaiah 58: 6&7) This is storing up your treasures in heaven.

A few Sunday’s ago , I heard a great message that spoke to my heart. The pastor, started off talking about what a horrible and tragic 2010 he had and that if some of us are still in that boat we need to keep trusting the Lord. I immediately felt negative and started doubting and questioning again. But, the Holy Spirit truly convicted me, when the pastor spoke of when Moses questioned God about using him to lead the Israelites out of captivity, and didn’t think he was the man capable of handling the task. Actually, Moses wasn’t able, but this story is not about what Moses did, but it’s the story of what God did through Moses. God told Moses to lay his staff on the ground, and when he did, God turned it into a snake, to show Moses His power. The pastor went on to say that like the staff of Moses, God wants us to set before him, all that we are, all that we have and follow Him and let him lead us. It’s not about who we are, what we do, what we have or don’t have, but it’s about a personal relationship with Him and trusting Him. I have been so focused on the things my eyes can see, on the material things, the worldly things manifesting in the lives of my loved ones, and that’s not what it’s about. That’s not what faith is about. It’s about God wanting to be first in our lives. He created us for relationship with him. When we get back to that, to loving the Lord above all else, drawing closer to Him, then our faith will remain great! I took my eyes off Him. I don’t know if that makes sense to those reading this, but for me, I have faith because of who Jesus is to me, because I know Him, his character, and how he’s changed my life on the inside, it’s what he did for me at Calvary, it’s not about the things in my life. Things don’t give me strength or hope, Jesus does.

I really wasn’t sure if I was going to post this blog because I was concerned that it may cause others to doubt, and I don’t want to cause anyone confusion. But, as I was looking up some of the scriptures, God brought to mind the disciples. These were men who walked, talked, ate and slept with Jesus. They were taught by the Great Master, himself! They saw Jesus do miracle after miracle, and yet they still doubted. “Oh ye of little faith.” I love when Jesus asked the disciples, after many followers left because they didn’t believe, Jesus asked them, “will you go too?” and the disciples replied, “Where else are we to go?” (John 6:67 “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.”) That is where I’m at right now, having some doubts, but at the end of the day…. where else shall I go? Who else am I going to believe and put my faith in, but Jesus. I know He will never leave me nor forsake me and His plan is so much greater than mine.

One thing I know and can attest to, is that if you have been discouraged and if you are in that same place, doubting, questioning your faith, frozen feet, do as the psalmist David did, and speak those words out loud, even sing them if you can, speak to your soul and tell it to “Bless the Lord, O my soul and all that is within me! Why are you cast down, oh my soul? Hope in God. As the deer pants for the water, so my soul longs for thee!!” It will lift your soul! God hears your cries and sees your tears and he will care for you, comfort you and give you strength to endure whatever you are going through, even if it’s watching your loved ones struggle. Don’t lose focus. Just keep your eyes on Him and your faith will be restored…as mine has!